Today one of my childhood friends have met me accidently and I was taken aback by see him. When he was in school and collage with me he was a person with great potential in life and what happened? He looks like a 10 year older with unshaved beard. He looks a broken man and stressed. When reasons I asked him in coffee shop after 20 minutes of chatting he told me reason behind his stress and depression. Two people had made his life hell. One is his boss and other one is his wife.  

He told me his boss make his life a hell by over burdened him with work and it is completely thankless job. His wife was also highly critical of him and their marriage life in mess. He is suffering from depression and on edge of being mad. Stress is eating him. After chatting with him one hour one thing is clear to me that his life is centered on two people one is his wife and other one is his boss.

I ask him one question that ok tell me how much of your time you think about these two people? How much time you west because of them? and he was taken aback. He told me Sedrik this is my life on stake and become hell because of these two people so it is natural for me to thinking about them all time. I told him you are wrong here. Why in hell you give any person on the glob advantage to become center of your life and your mind.  

I told him I know one is your boss and other one is your wife and you can’t ignore them easily. I told him what about change the job so at least you can get rid of boss. He told me that pay is very good and he likes his office environment so he doesn’t want to change job. I ask him what about separation with wife so he told me situation is not that critical and he don’t want to separate because of children.

I agree with him. I ask him that he ever gives himself a thought that how much of his creative mind he is westing before them. Instead of westing time and mind before them by continuously thinking about them he should work out some solution and Instead of work out solution he just make his life revolving around these two people.

I ask him one more question that your boss or your wife know that you are thinking all time about them and obvious reply was no. So what is the meaning of westing mind and time by thinking about someone all time and they don’t even know? I told him why don’t you sit with your boss and sort out issues or give good bye the job. At least he would know why you left job or what your problem is? Why don’t you sit with wife and told her frankly what you like and what you don’t and ask same questions her. But thinking about her all time is completely west of time.

He told me what if his problems would not solve after conciliating with wife? I told him then just be neutral. People feel bad when they love someone and expect from his or her something in return. Just lower your expectation from your partner and you would be calm if not happy. Main source of problematic relationship is expectation (over expectation) just decreases expectations and you would be feel inner peace………..

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